CONCLUSIONAL
(TELL) |
DESCRIPTIVE
(SHOW) |
|
The man looked seedy. |
One eyeglass lens was cracked, tufts of hair grew from his nostrils. He gave off an odor of
stale laundry. |
The air conditioning unit in the motel room was old and noisy. |
The air conditioning unit in the motel had only a fraction of its name left, an "are" made
of silver plastic, hanging loose by one screw so that it vibrated to the thud of the compressor.
A brown water stain on the wall under the unit was shaped like the bottom half of Texas. From
the greasy grill, the air conditioner exhaled an icy breath, smelling of rust and black
pavement. |
Here's one from Flannery O'Conner: |
One of them was ugly and stupid. |
One was a fat boy in black trousers and a red sweater with a silver stallion embossed on the
front of it. He moved around on the right side of them and stood staring, his mouth partly open
in a kind of loose grin. |
One from Hemingway: |
The place was a dusty little dump miles from nowhere. |
On this side there was no shade and no trees and the station was between two lines of rails
in the sun. Close against the side of the station there was a warm shadow of the building and
a curtain, made of strings of bamboo beads, hung across the open-door into the bar, to keep out
the flies. |
And from Chekov: |
He was wimpy. |
He was a small thin man, with a yellow face and curls combed forward on his forehead. He
spoke in a thin tenor;as he talked his mouth worked on one side, and there was always an
expression of despair on his face. |
Now you try: |
The bedroom was hot. |
The kitchen was a mess. |
The car was a piece of junk. |